Seven years ago, we were just going about our lives. We were just doing normal things everyone else does–watching TV, snuggling up under blankets, laughing, planning, going to work, the kids were loving school, and everything was just about as good as it could be. We had just gotten a new cat, Chloe, who was still adjusting to her new environment.
Who knew that our lives would soon explode like the Death Star and all of those things we took for granted would be gone.
I remember the night before Lily’s accident very clearly. She and I decided to have snuggle time together that evening and we just covered ourselves up with blankets. We whispered silly things to each other, giggled, and talked about things a six and a half year old would talk about. I remember we had an “I love you” contest: who could describe how much they loved the other person the most. We took turns–Lily said “I love you to the moon.” And I said “I love you to the moon and back.” Lily “I love you to the moon and back TWICE.” And it went on like that for a while, until we ran out of heavenly bodies to use. We finally decided on this:
“I love you with ALL the moons, and ALL the stars, and ALL the planets and ALL the suns, and ALL the comets and ALL the asteroids, in ALL the galaxies in ALL the universes.”
This is what I still say to her every night when I tuck her into bed. Every night.
I miss her so much. I miss her spark, her joy, her kindness, her love, her potential, her dreams, her future.
She will never have friends. I see girls her age out and about, doing things teenage girls do. I wonder what she’d enjoy doing now, what music she’d like, what activities she’d be involved in.
She will never be asked out by a boy. She will never get married. Todd will never walk her down the aisle. She will never have children. I will never get to be the mother of the bride, or the grandmother to her children.
It occurred to me recently that we’ve had Lily for more time post-accident than we did pre-accident. This makes me very sad because it makes me realize how much we’ve been ripped off of having a normal life with our beautiful girl.
This is what we grieve every single day.
Every day, we just try to let her know how much we love her, need her, and adore her.
We are grateful that she is still here with us and we can kiss her sweet face and look into her beautiful eyes. The last year has been really good for us and for Lily’s health. She started using a CPAP machine a few months ago and this has made a huge difference in her breathing and pulse ox, not only at night while she’s sleeping, but also during the day when she’s at school or going about other activities. She also started on the Ketogenic diet in January. So far, it’s been going very well and we’ve noticed a slight decrease in seizure frequency and an increase in alertness. These are all wonderful things and we hope to continue to see these improvements continue! We also were able to move into our new home and it is just so perfect for us! We all love the house so much and I am thankful every day that we were able to move here.
Each year at this time, I like to say thank you to those who have helped us and supported us since Lily’s accident. However, every day I think of a kind act, donation, or some other type of support we’ve received. You have all impacted our lives in some way or another and we are truly humbled and grateful for every single thing that has been done to support us.
I can also see how far God has brought our family since this happened. This event completely devastated us and for a very long time, we didn’t know if we’d ever climb out of the pit of grief and despair. We still have many periods of time where any one of us are in the pit again at any given moment. However, we have been able to put the pieces back together very slowly (and it still ain’t pretty) and move on with things as they are. This has been very difficult to do, but I can only say that it’s been with God’s grace, mercy, strength, and redemption that we’ve been able to do that. HE is greater, HE is the REDEEMER, and I praise HIM for what he has done for us. I truly would not be able to even get out of bed in the morning without the strength of God, which is beyond my comprehension.
One thing we want everyone to know is that Lily is still a person with thoughts and feelings, even though she can’t verbally respond to people. When you see her, please say hello, talk to her, acknowledge her. It’s amazing how many people just don’t talk to her or even notice she’s there. I know it’s awkward sometimes, and people are afraid of saying the wrong things. But if you just talk to her like a regular person, it is fine!
So, please remember our Lily. She was a vibrant, kind, joyful, creative, sweet, loving, amazing girl before this happened. I don’t want anyone to forget that. Please pray for her on this hard anniversary and always. Thanks again for all of the love and support we have received and continue to receive from all of you.
Melissa, Todd, Bryce and Lily
9 replies on “2/24/18: Seven years”
I am so thankful that I got to be a part of Lily’s life in Mrs. P’s classroom. Lily is a joy. Her beautiful spirit shines brightly as she communicates with her eyes or a smile. I’m so glad things are going so much better this year. Miss Jess
Melissa, I have prayed for Lilly and your family each and every morning since her accident. She is constantly on my mind and my hope is hat she makes some improvement every day, no matter how small. Much love for all of you!
Thank you, Jeff. Your support with prayer means the world to us!
Lilly had such a wonderful family..loving and supportive. God bless your family. Hugs
The last time I saw Lily before her accident was the Sunday before. She walked in the back door, slapped her knees with both hands and called the dog to come see her. She loved Boot’s and I think any animal she knew. The last time she spent the night she wanted Boot’s to sleep with her, and she did, all night. I took a picture so Lily would know that it really happened. She was so creative , funny and so much fun to be with. I loved watching her play with her cousins. They would make pillow sandwich’s with big floor pillows and just laugh like crazy. I miss that. She will always be my little girl even though she is 13. I love her so much and I am so proud of Todd and Melissa in the way they have cared for her over these years and in the way they have moved forward with their lives as best they could. It has been difficult for Bryce, but he is moving forward too and I am proud of him and love them all so much❤️ Mimi
Darling Melissa, Todd , Bryce and Lily. you are in my heart every day. I pray as this painful milestone is reached you all will know that you are loved by us and our Father
Our Love and God’s Love to you Todd, Bryce and Lilly. I was talking to a women today that had suffered terribly. Her daughter killed herself. Her grief became unbearable. She said that God was always with her. This was all in the lobby waiting to give blood this morning. I asked her how did she know God was with her. she said that people are sent to her. People come into her life when she needs them. She also said she was given a vision of heaven. She said that it was just like you would expect. There were green fields. In the fields there was just one tree. She said that there were angles flying around. She said that the angles were crying. Her first thought was that the angles were crying for her daughter. But no they said they were crying for her. They were sorry that she was suffering, they let her know her daughter was with God. She said that “God is Good”. To which I said ” all the time”.
God loves you and angles right now are suffering with you. Saint Paul said that knowledge we have is nothing, but love we have is full and real and we keep it. Love is eternal. Lilly will be able to communicate with you perfectly well when you both are with God.
Thank you , Pete. This is beautiful.
I am amazed at your family’s faith and strength. Lily is so lucky to have a family like you. I always remember her and your family in my prayers at Sunday mass. May you continue to find strength and courage and may Lily have peace and good health.